grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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