I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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