last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
