So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
