Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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