Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
