I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dicks are not precious.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
