Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
