You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
