it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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