big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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