Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
