Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
