Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
