And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
