It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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