They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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