I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
