One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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