So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
