And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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