My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
