therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
