Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
