I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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