my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
