actually, I'm a sock model
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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