I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
