There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
