No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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