It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
