I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
