Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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