Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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