dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
