I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
