I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
