and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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