can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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