i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
