the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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