I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
