Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
