Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
