Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
