After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
