At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
