so that wasnt chicken after all
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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