It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
