You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
